I still haven’t figured anything out, and that’s okay.

Being in your twenties marks you, maybe even more than real adolescence. At twenty you start throwing yourself into the “real world” with all its rough edges: responsibilities, choices, comparisons. It’s true that this phase gives you a huge sense of freedom: fewer chains, fewer limits, the chance to make bold decisions and experiment. But it’s also true that, exactly because of this freedom, you often don’t have a real safe space where you can move. For many, the dominant feeling isn’t “cool, I can go wherever I want,” but more like “I don’t know where to go” or “I’m scared.” It’s a tension between opportunity and uncertainty.

And maybe this is exactly why certain moments stay with you because they test you, but they also shape you.

It’s obvious that stepping into the real world is frightening. At this age, your environments change drastically. Even the size of the environments shifts to a whole new scale. You go from a small high school where you know everyone and everyone knows you. Everyone has their role. There isn’t even that sense of inadequacy you know you’re part of something small where you’re one of the gears. Then you step out of there and you realise that, for the world, you’re basically a grain of sand on a beach. You’re no longer a gear inside a clock. And that can absolutely feel scary.

We can connect this to what I said earlier: don’t interpret this as a sign that you’re not enough. Don’t turn it into “I’ll never stand out in this ocean of sand.” It becomes even harder to find your path if you think like that. But try to see it from another angle: how beautiful is it, actually? In this ocean of sand, if there is one grain more or one grain less, or one slightly rounder or one slightly more square… nobody really cares. And that gives you the freedom to express yourself however you want. To shape your thoughts in a way that is 100% personal. To build a unique path that turns your own grain of sand into your favourite one.

I think I will always remember the moment when I decided to change my university course. The crying, the breakdowns, the arguments with my parents. But looking back, I only see a moment that enriched me, that strengthened my spirit. Today I feel stronger and more aware exactly because of the fear I had back then. And maybe we should start seeing these periods of uncertainty not as “I can’t do things, I’m scared, I can’t take the step forward,” but more like “how lucky I am, I have the privilege of being able to make mistakes.”

Then there’s the idea, constantly sold to us, that at twenty you must already be sure about the rest of your life. And we get bombarded by social media showing people who have “made it”(between huge quotation marks). They’re more attractive, more talented, bigger, stronger, richer, smarter. They break records. They do impossible challenges.

But the truth is: they are the exception. It just looks normal because social media keeps throwing them in your face. If you stop for a second and think about how many “idolised” 20-year-olds there really are, even if they were 100,000… they are nothing compared to how many of us actually exist. They’re 0.1%. Yet comparing yourself to them becomes automatic, and destructive, because you start from a place where you’re at the beginning, you’re free… and you already feel like you lost.

That’s not right.

So instead you need to reframe that guy or girl, whoever they are, who at twenty is doing or becoming what you’d like to do or become. And tell yourself: “Okay, they got there before me, but I’ll go farther than them.” Maybe not now, maybe over the long run. You’re at the very beginning of this phase of your twenties, so you also need to give yourself the space to take risky leaps, especially because you’re influenced by these incredible external models. But they should be seen as proof that it’s possible. Not as a reminder that you’re failing because you’re not like them yet. They show that becoming like them is possible, and that going beyond them is possible too.

I’m twenty and I still haven’t figured anything out. And still, that’s okay. I’m glad to have so many possible paths in front of me, and yes, it scares me that none of them feels “safe”, a path that makes me say: okay, everything is perfect there. But since everything is so open, I can build from zero, shape my own path the way I want, step by step.

This post is here to show the vision behind this space. If you’re reading this, you’re probably also in your twenties: you’ll recognise yourself in the doubts, the choices, the fears. I’m not giving a final recipe here, the other posts will be more structured and solid, but I wanted to tell you something simple: I get it. Not having everything figured out yet is normal. Actually, it’s an opportunity.

I invite you to stay here with me: we’ll explore fears, expectations, and how to start over.
And if you want, tell me your story in the comments: what scares you the most right now?